Our roof went on this week and we are officially considered “dry”. It’s been crazy to see the transformation of our home with the addition of the second story and our new massive, and slightly obnoxious, entry. I’ve been struggling these past few weeks as we continue to make decisions that are important and necessary, but that run our costs up even higher. I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt for want vs. need. I want this gorgeous house. Do I need it? Absolutely not. There are so few things we need. We’re renting this tiny little home that is perfectly sufficient for all our needs. The three people I love most in the world are here with me, we’re safe, fed, healthy, relatively happy and dry.
And then I drive over to our house that dreams built and I remember that this is in fact one of mine. That I can’t wait to have all my friends there and hear their laughter in my kitchen. I can’t wait to see my girls running through it, or standing on the new stairs for pictures with their prom dates. I can’t wait to have a cup of coffee with Joe on our little deck off our new bedroom while the mountains turn pink and the sky comes alive. I can’t wait to see him endlessly watch the ferries pass by, which has always been his dream.
So yes, it is a lot of money. More than I’m comfortable with. And yes, I know it’s a ridiculous thing to be complaining about. I am enterally grateful for the chance to do this. But I’m also thoughtful about it and hope that I continue to challenge myself and my family on want vs. need. On being generous and thoughtful about where and how we use our resources.